backwards and behind

Struggling. I don’t want to write down anything discursive, narrative, obvious, patented, simple, negative, positive, emotional, hopeful, peaceful … I have so many ways I don’t want to write.

I wrote some interesting sentences in my journal last night. The reason I like them is that they go backwards:

“The lovers part marry meet.”

“Goodbye” used instead of “Hello.”

“Arrivederci” followed by “I bring you peace.”

Backwards. I didn’t know I was doing it, but saw these three examples in the piece later. This happened after reading Friday about Ashbery’s “January March February” and “Taurus Leo Gemini.”

I like the idea of messing with time and order. I’m surprised that I grasped it deeply enough to come out in free writing. I unearth constant treasure in free writing. I don’t trust it.

I wanted to write about the clouds early this morning and the long walk and the spaniels with short haircuts and the big black dog, but the day ran past me and I could never catch up to it.