he said “I wonder how
much therapy it took” –
meaning to achieve her level of
spontaneity, joy spilling as she
whirled around the office twinkletoed
and veiled in golden hair –
bureaucratic princess from the dawn
of the word processing revolution,
explaining “fields” and “files”
to us with cookbook metaphors

known as sandy, less a
prophetess of doom than a
participant in it (as we
all are (there is suffering))
cranky here because I find
the fundamentalist response particularly
unhelpful and wonder why we all
can’t be more open-minded
listeners to the real though faint
prophetic voices of our day

her recipe for oat scones
one of my prize possessions
she had the life I wanted
but couldn’t quite pull off –
earth mother at home in
Oregon countryside calm job
word processing hair very long
two daughters friendly gentle
smiling it would have been so
simple, wouldn’t it?

still striving

cautionary tale, soap opera,
movie treatment, or all in my
imagination – but based faintly in
reality – witch meets pantheist,
leaves her marriage to an actuary,
dyes her hair red, studies
chiropractic, reiki, and transforms her
life completely – something vaguely scary
underneath, confront it? no, at our
brief reunion, warmest greetings

big innocent, German, football player,
parent’s spoiled youngest, only boy –
not one to embody in
his body grand principles like
eros, thanatos – was surprised
by death his senior year, let’s
hope his eros found fulfillment –
would’ve happened with another girl –
the stubborn virgin I became,
she wouldn’t let him in

red-faced white-haired giant
handing out report cards to
the children, each petrified
to take that sheet of paper
from him with a trembling
hand – my vivid memory of
him stumbling, green mass of
vestments on the sanctuary stairs –
the congregation gasped, impressed
by how he too could fall

let me deliver huge bouquets
of gratitude for your kindnesses
to me – first a ride
when I was walking in
the rain; next invites to
post-layoff get-togethers at the
bar; third recommendation for a
new tech writing position in
“New Haven” (that’s what this
all turned out to be)