wings dark hair and cheekbones
Yugoslavian Loren young mother
making do caring for another’s child,
one weekend she delivered her
third, “I got the baby” (named
Armenta), claimed she wouldn’t
privilege her newborn over my
small Princeling – was this right? –
I knew so little about them –
they were handsome, Muslim

first guy I ever met
with dreadlocks (friend of Will’s) –
at our farmlet, 1234 Darling
Street in Napa – most stunningly
memorable of his actions was
breaking ground (should have its
own word like “breakfast”) in
the spring garden, stepping on
the worn shovel’s metal shoulder
with his hard bare foot

nephew unsure – what happens
when they grow up and graduate
when the accumulation of fond
nicknames, bedtime stories, parental
interventions and practice letting go
all come to term – and still –
failure to thrive, or even
drive, despite profession of interest
in cars, proud ownership of
some clunkers – next, the Navy

valued worker in the vital
honeycomb that made family every
weekday after school – transparent
eyes, furled antennae, soothing drawl,
she drove us home when my
plan foundered – just wanted to
commute with him just once
on National Bike To Work Day,
foiled by playground theft

still get a stomachache when
I have to contemplate that
gap that gaping grasping gasp
that hole in the holly holy
boundary represented by
the unhealed letter “C” –
I can use I or me, but
for this poem only, neither
you nor she is right, we’re
left unclosed in wonderland

coming out of tule fogs
out of vineyards out of
antique landscapes – briefly met and
then received your letter referencing
our “desperate escape” – never called
you on that terminology, often
wondered where you got your
definition of despair – wafting secondhand,
I thought I could detect
its traces in your scent

sugar & spice, plus pommes frites,
chocolat, pony club, cheerleading,
sheltered quiet pretty college student
now semestering in France where
tout est gentil – did you know
water, in its pure form,
is highly reactive, will
absorb impurities from the air
or the body, if necessary,
making it unsafe to drink?