of all the puzzling secrets
hers bothered me the most –
grandma who allowed a cuddle,
enlivened picnics, and sent me
go-go boots (a thrill) then
gone, not dead, just gone,
how to tell the children?
when she died she told me
herself by sending an EM*
when the phone rang

*extrasensory message

rough crystal embedded firmly in
his matrix, location mid-state Maine:
car dealership, widower, a second
marriage, conservative, nice two-story ranch,
conventional in his pleasant grandpahood –
nothing would surprise me more
than to see him springing
fully faceted, sparkling into cut-gem
life – maybe wisely he resists
the chisel, flame, or polishing

boy cousin, close in age,
our fathers split the USA
between them – when I visited
from the opposite coast, he took
me to Disneyland – no memories
of that experience survive and
neither does he, a sudden
death reclining on an LA couch –
happiness was his birthright,
hope he had some

his philosophy, if he could
be said to have one,
is “life’s a feast” – of
the tastiest food, most intoxicating
beverages, exotic flavors of women,
friends well met and mixed,
lushest gardens, lustiest days and
nights, vodka toasts to grandpa
during Easter morning revelries,
all that “and then you die”

case study for those interested
in mother love, individuality, and
nurturing practices across the
generations – how different is it
to be raised one of eleven,
then turn around and raise
your cherished two? does the
bough break and cradle fall
or do the branches of
the family tree bend readily?

I might have been considered
bossy as a child –
I had a surplus of ideas
and a compliant companion who
lived next door – though older,
she bought most of my suggestions:
jumprope, hopscotch, dressups, “spies,”
“horses,” “safari,” “celebrating mass,”
endless summer Monopoly games, and
just plain running in the street

just at the time when
kids stopped hanging out in
groups and started to pair
off, I was hanging with
a group where everyone
paired off but he and I –
pressed to pair, but no
spark whatsoever – the kind
of kid that wore a powder
blue tuxedo to the prom