I was supposed to get
some of her mother’s iris,
yes, bring me closer to
the center of her family’s
magic ethnic circle (Polish? Czech?) –
unfortunately permeable, soon breached
by standard American SAHM concerns –
girl bride wife, then mom, while
it lasted, co-workers got delicious
details on a daily basis
hey, what’s happening? what
am I supposed to do? born
once, born twice, born three
times or more, and bigger
with each birth – lake summers,
farm chores, frisky as a kid,
then assigned caretaking duty
in payment for more stringent
supervision – like Ferdinand the gentle,
somehow learns to be himself
from Michigan! a place I
had never been, but imagined
full of Polish party girls,
short, blond, curvy, dressed in
frills and jewelry, eating cheese
and sausage and dancing polka
to accordion accompaniment – fast
forward, LA poolside, widow writing
letters in a curvy hand, subjects:
kids, loss, loneliness, the Lord
young man, warrior, pigling,
prince, brave? shiny child of the
okanogan, actor, smart, funny,
contemplative, moody with his games –
when he was very young,
we took a walk, picked
a bouquet, he knew that
everybody dies, “just like the
flowers” – if long hair symbolizes
strength, when will his be cut?
white witch of Gardner who
lives with blessings – reiki, herbal
essences, journals, beaded jewelry,
book club, great friends – also lives
with curses: job, apartment, fears
of the future – right now,
the original blessing – as mom
and grandmom, able to love
her children in a way
her own mom never could
no more howling at the
moon – wild long-haired hippie smokin’
in his bellbottoms transformed into
articulate effective force for leadership
development, organizing communities
in Appalachia – last seen at the Wilder
Hotel, Boonville, Kentucky, where
things just got Wilder and Wilder –
whiskey drinkin’ on the porch,
the mountains sang like angels
doesn’t need a magazine to
teach her how to be
Real Simple – she has her
own Solutions in these realms:
organizing, meals, cleaning, life skills,
all grounded in north Idaho
and her extended family, also
has a built-in geiger counter
for complexity, so she can seek
protection when it threatens