excelled at cynical and alienated,
hiding who knew what vulnerabilities –
who? me? vulnerable? yeah, you –
ok, skip it, let’s play basketball
with Medford Pure Beef,
get drunk, get real, grow
up, now Mr. and JD –
but a woman (me) could
see his sincere gift, friendship,
surpassed all this, shone brightly

curmudgeonly in charge of everything
at the UU Society he
loved – as he grew older,
the rank and file shrank,
need for new blood becoming
radically apparent – I saw him
at the holiday service just
after the diagnosis of his
final illness – stoic, stricken, panicked,
made quietly frantic by impermanence

mythological suburban mystery – artist
poet site designer high school substitute –
kids know him by his year-round
shorts and lion’s mane –
he’s kept me guessing
many years now – how
does he live as myth so
upfront matter-of-factly without
embarrassment or sliding into stereotype?
I guess the gaming helps

first babysitting job, this
sister kept me on the run
with her ideas galore – play
games, play records, let’s make
crushed ice flavored with Koolaid
powder, spin me around, always
something new – now accomplished
painter, art teacher, way cool mom –
it’d be fun to watch her
keeping other people busy

project 1 – immensely challenging,
tangled tasks, missed deadlines, misconceptions,
her phone-altered voice brings steadiness
on Friday night and sees me through;

project 2 – easy fun and tidy, but it ended;

project 3plus – enjoyable and manageable,
freelancing assignments on her recommendation –

I’m very grateful, but still wondering, is it over?

we dated for a summer
after high school, he looked
me up again in 2001 –
both times were – how to
say it – unfulfilling – I could
use other words but I restrain
myself, in return for this
one memory – country club
golf course, pool, illicit entry,
skinny dipping stars in water