March 8, 2001
"To let each impression and each germ of a feeling come to completion wholly in itself, in the dark, in the inexpressible, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one's own intelligence and await with humility and patience the birth-hour of a new clarity."

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Dream images

Frozen dinners
Hunger hunger
feel it pulling at me
motivation of
dissatisfaction
better at hunger
than at eating

Time shifts. Frozen dinners appear, heated in the microwave, in their little black trays. I feel a trace of disappointment. I don't know where these dinners came from. They look overcooked. My friend doesn't normally eat this way. No to prepared foods, no to not taking the time, no to rubbery pasta, no to microwave cooking, no to little black trays manufactured from unknown substances. I worry for a moment whether he'll be able to eat. His dream hunger overrules his rules and he sits down. I sit down for five seconds. Then I jump up, very energetic, and go looking for water. I leave the room.

eating is not easy
I'm hungry all the time
hungry in the morning
hungry all day
hungry in the middle of the night

I want to cook.

I don't want brown foods. I want white foods. Pasta, rice, tofu. And hearty greens. With lemon.

Butterflies and spinach
Risotto with carrots and feta
Ziti and chard with ricotta
Artichokes
White wine
(Supplemental frozen dinners)

Lemon eggs
Lemon seeds
Oranges
Pineapple

For breakfast I have two servings of Cream of Wheat
A huge bowl of Cream of Wheat splashed with a little milk
and brown sugar and or

dates and pecans
chopped dried apricots and almonds

I swallow two vitamins with water
That's all!