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							December 8, 2000 | |
| ok I am an idiot | |
| How many times could you write raspberry before you felt so silly you had to stop? I won't do it. * I am interested in resistance. How and when to push against it. Why it is so strong sometimes. How to subvert it. How to respect it. I still live in this little little little box with hard rubber walls. * If my life is aimless as an ant, why do I feel like a giant? * sail seal sell sarong sue smile smart stephen stand stuff start still stellar snide sned snart sill sweet starn smeil swoppo sbid seird scik slick swat sport spet spit swet OK, I feel silly. * Tomorrow I will say One Word out loud in the car by myself. I'm struggling with resistance to improvisational spoken practice. For some reason, this is something I think I need to do; or at least try. I won't think of the word ahead of time; I will just let it well up from deep within. LOL like lava * I can't help thinking line breaks are inferior. They seem like a form of embarrassment. Like, oops, damn, I can't continue in that vein. Johnson said most of the "bad" prose poems are overwritten. Nothing is more overwritten than a line break. * But I don't really believe in the value of the subconscious. |